I’ve had my confidence absolutely shattered over the course of the past few months for various reasons and I’m in desperate need of a confidence boost. I was trying to think of ways to do that and have settled on one thing to at least get me started: a list of all the things I’ve managed to achieve and that I have that prove that I’m good at what I do, that I am worthy of praise, and that there are so many reasons I should be confident in myself whether they be small or huge. It may be a bit egotistical, but when your confidence has been sunk so low, sometimes that bit of self-affirmation can go a long way to start that road to recovering it.

1. Wrote and published a novel by the age of 25 as was my dream for years which has been bought, read, and enjoyed by actual people
2. Wrote three pantomimes that were performed live in front of an audience
3. Wrote and performed as one of the principals in one of those pantomimes despite grieving the loss of my grandfather to cancer
4. Produced, creative directed, wrote, and starred in a staff pantomime, bringing it from nothing to production despite starting with zero budget and that performance is still thought of fondly even now nearly 5 years later
5. Was the only person in my year at school at get a place at the University of Cambridge
6. Ran a mildly successful YouTube gaming channel for 10 years, reaching over 3,000 subscribers and over 2.2 million video views
7. Joined and continue to be part of the YouTube gaming group that inspired me to start my channel in the first place
8. Been part of the co-commentary team on several gaming charity marathons which have helped raise thousands of dollars for charity, specifically Child’s Play
9. Managed and maintained a 1,000 page Council website, ensuring it attained ShawTrust accessibility accreditation and lifting its position in the Sitemorse INDEX rankings of local government authority websites by 198 places to 3rd out 408
10. Took numerous photos which have appeared in print and digital media as part of official communications
11. Turned around a vox pop social media video for a professional show in under 5 hours including the 2 hours filming during the show; the video was at least partially responsible for an uptick of about two thirds in the audience numbers for the final two nights of the show
12. Provided accessibility training for the chief executive and senior management when I worked at the council
13. Have kept my puppy Milo alive, healthy, and happy for over 100 days and counting despite never having looked after a dog before
14. Was President of the Christ’s Films Society, helped keep it afloat for another year, breaking even for the first time in years and setting it up to keep improving and succeeding in future years
15. Have seen over 750 films and short films
16. Read hundreds of books including some of the most world-defining pieces of literature including the entire works of Shakespeare, Milton’s Paradise Lost, Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales, Dante’s Divine Comedy, and more
17. The main thing most people remember about me is my smile
18. I’ve developed a really varied skillset covering writing, performance, photography, videography, graphic design, basic HTML content coding, web accessibility, analytics and more
19. Thanks to my approach to money I managed to save enough to buy my own car and technically enough for a deposit on a house in the 6 years I’ve been at home
20. I have a family around me who love and support me and will always have my back no matter what

So, there’s 20 things to begin with. I’m sure there’s many more things even I can’t think of them just now. I deserve to be confident and I deserve to live a happy life. It sucks that there are people out there that have made me feel otherwise, but I need to start rebuilding my confidence in myself and take the next step in making my life the way I want it to be.

I can do this. I’ve just proven to myself that I can.